Where I want to be

This past weekend, I celebrated a milestone birthday as I turned 30. As my friends and fellow '83 babies had their 30th birthdays over the course of the year, I wondered how I'd feel when my turn came. As it happens, I am quite content to leave my 20s behind.

When I turned 20, I was in my second year of university. I worked my one and only co-op term at a nearby agricultural college, studied through the summer, got engaged in July, and spent a few weeks in Australia before heading to France for the school year. I felt like in some ways, my life hadn't started yet. I had wanted to be a teacher since I was ten, and I'd wanted to be a mom for as long as I could remember. That year abroad was one of the best decisions I made: I had the opportunity to study and travel in ways that I'd never be able to do again (or at least for the foreseeable future!). At the same time, particularly around exam time, I wondered how relevant my learning would be, years down the line. I really wanted to be a wife and mother, and did I really need to read Balzac and learn about the Vichy regime in order to do that? I had a vague plan in mind that I wanted to graduate, get married, teach for a couple of years, and then have kids.

At 30, I feel like my life is well underway. I have been done with my own academic schooling for awhile now: I graduated from university six years ago, and took my final AQ course five years ago. I'm getting to see a different side of the school system now, as a parent of a kindergartener, and as the wife of a continuing ed student. I still learn and teach in a couple of different capacities: in raising my kids as a stay-at-home mom, and in leading at our church's women's Bible study.

I ended up marrying my best friend earlier than I thought I would, two years before finishing school. It was neat to have him as my first housemate, having only had roommates (albeit awesome ones, Mandy and Hailey!) in first year residence. We had all kinds of adventures in moving and living odd places, like the top floor of a house in Hamilton, accessible by rickety outdoor stairs! We worked with the youth group at our church, and joined a young marrieds' small group just a few weeks after our wedding. The friendships we forged there are still going strong today. It was bittersweet when we moved six hours away, back to my hometown. But that had been the longstanding plan, and I got a job weeks after graduation, which is pretty much unheard of in teaching today! I taught for two years before going on an extended mat leave, and just this year I officially resigned. I have nothing but respect for women who can have a family and work either full-time or part-time outside the home; for me, motherhood trumped the working world. Or the paid working world, anyway.

As I rounded out this year, I lost my two dear grandmothers, within just days of each other. I am so thankful to have been able to spend time with them, and I am also thankful that Hubby's grandmother is still here, even if she's halfway around the globe. Just weeks after Gams and GG departed this earth, I learned that a new life would be arriving this July, Lord willing. I had a vague notion of wanting to wrap up my childbearing years around age 30, and even with all the challenges surrounding M, I didn't have a sense that our family was complete. We'll see what happens as this year progresses. I have heard nothing but good things about being in one's thirties, and I look forward to growing and changing in this next decade. For now, 30 finds me where I want to be.

30 is definitely better with people like these in your life!

I think I can still wear these pants at my age, right? Maybe the side braid will have to go... ;)

Quite the complicated haircut

Hubby's work Christmas party is tonight, and I haven't had my hair cut since July, so I thought it would be a good idea to get it done this morning. Unfortunately, I waited too late and couldn't get an appointment with my usual hairdresser, so I decided to go to a nearby hairdressing school. The mall where it's located didn't open until 9:30, and the school didn't start appointments until 10:30 (even then, it's on a first-come first-served basis). Luckily my parents live near there, so I dropped M at their house with the understanding that I'd need to pick her up by 12, because they had to go out then. I got to the mall around 9:45, and I had planned to do a bit of shopping anyway, so I did that first. After debating whether it was worth the time risk, I decided to go for it.

The girl to whom I was assigned was very new; I could see her checklist at her station, and she had only done 3 women's haircuts before. Because I wanted to keep my long layers, after my shampoo I was reassigned to one of the advanced students. By then it was getting close to 11am, and I started to worry about meeting D's bus. Unless I was done and out of there in the next half hour, there was no way I'd have time to pick up M, drive home, and get to the bus stop on time. I texted a wonderful neighbour (whose daughter is on the same bus as D), and she agreed to get D from the bus. Then I called the school to let them know who would be picking D up. That would buy me enough time to finish the cut.

I was nervously watching the clock all through my appointment. Two girls blow-dried my hair, and one of the instructors put the finishing touches on some face-framing layers. I got my coat and bags and practically sprinted to the car.

As a general rule, I don't use my cell phone in the car; today was an exception. I had texted my mom to let her know the timeline, but she checks her phone about as often as I do, so I called her when I was en route. I loaded M into the car, remembered to give my mom a birthday gift to pass on to my sister (whom she'd be seeing later today), and booked it home. On the way, my phone rang, and even though I didn't recognize the number, I picked up. It was the school bus authority, checking to make sure I had okayed someone else to get D from the bus stop. My neighbour also texted me around the same time, asking me to call them. It all got straightened out, and within about 10 minutes I was at the neighbour's to bring D home for lunch. She was having way too much fun, so my neighbour said D could stay until after lunch if it was okay with me. Heck yes it was!

M was asleep in her car seat when we pulled into the driveway, so I carried her inside like a sack of potatoes. She had her lunch and then headed upstairs for a nap, only throwing a minor tantrum. D came home about an hour later, and from the sounds of things, both girls must be sound asleep. Good thing, too! We've got a sitter tonight, and I wouldn't want to leave anyone with those girls when they haven't napped.

How's your autumn?

Well, let's see. Point form will probably be my best bet here.

-D started kindergarten
-Hubby started a new job
-D, my grandma (GG), my dad, M, and my mom had birthdays, in that order
-both of my grandmas passed away within days of each other, meaning two funerals over two weekends
-I've been teaching David Platt's excellent and challenging book, Follow Me, at our women's Bible study
-we drove to Southern Ontario for a reunion with our old Bible study group (known modestly as The Best Small Group Ever)

So, it's been busy and somewhat stressful, to put it mildly. Not surprisingly, there's been a measure of illness added to our daily routine, more so than in an ordinary year because of everything D brings home from school.

Mixed in with the sadness of losing my grandmothers, we had the joy of visiting family. The day after Gams passed, my brother and two sisters drove from Toronto and spent several days here. We had family dinners every night, and it was better than when we were growing up, because everyone's kinder and more mature. And there are little kids to play with and pregnant bellies to pat (my sister's this time). All of my cousins were there for the visitation and the funeral, including one from out West who travelled with a toddler and an infant. (We later had a fun afternoon play date with them!) The six great-grandkids proved a happy distraction and were pretty well-behaved, although my two certainly had their moments.

GG's funeral wasn't really like a funeral; it was a visitation at my parents' house, and people came and talked and ate and saw pictures from my Grandma's life on screens in various rooms. Once everyone had gone except for immediate family, we shared memories of Grandpa and Grandma, funny ones and serious ones.Then we went out to Swiss Chalet for dinner, which was GG's fave. I am so glad to have been able to spend as much time as I did with them, both when I was growing up and in these early years of my daughters' lives. Even though it may become increasingly common as people live longer, I think it's a pretty amazing thing to get to see your grandchildren become parents.

I've been hanging out with this kid a lot

She's been wearing this dress almost daily

They've had a least two naps like this recently

Small victories

Today wasn't a total win, but there were several ways in which it was not terrible:

-M and I made it in and out of Ikea in less than 30 minutes with only the items on our list
-several rooms in my house are partially clean, and the girls helped pick up their toys in the living room
-dinner was ready (thanks to some sacrificed quiet time) when Hubby got home
-D shared the names of three more classmates, so now we know of 14 kids in her class, out of a possible 19
-M's favourite French words today: ouvert, fermé, camion, attention, encore

The one we used to call Snaggletooth

I don't need to go on in detail about the bad mood I was in this morning, the joujouthèque toy that D broke, the shorter-than-usual naps and resulting post-nap weeping. I only mention them to keep it real.

School for D, M's mornings with me

School is off to a great start for D; she's not as tired as I had anticipated, although she has fallen asleep twice on the bus ride home. Stories from school come out slowly, a piece at a time, and she tells different (though not conflicting) details to Hubby than she does to me. Names of classmates, descriptions of activities, songs, rules, routines. Among my favourites: the daily report of who got to be the "chef" (leader) that morning. D is anxiously awaiting the day she will be named chef. Typical eldest child.

It amazes me how fearless she seems to be. Her whole life up to this point has been spent mainly with me, although she's often been looked after by other people, including family, Sunday school teachers, babysitters, nursery volunteers, etc. And all of a sudden, she's off on a school bus five days of the week, getting used to new routines and ways of doing things, in English one week and French the next, and she's fine with it all.

Something that I quite love about Catholic school is that they start the day with prayer, and (I think, from what D has told me) they say grace before snack time. D has informed me of the need to have "nice praying hands" (held flat together, not with fingers interlaced), and that's led to some conversations about why we close our eyes and put our hands together, and whether the exact way we place our hands is as important as focusing our attention on God when we talk to him. I anticipate lots of conversations like this, and I look forward to them! It's a neat way to explain why we believe what we do, and why we act the way we do.

In the meantime, M and I have been greatly enjoying our mornings together. Her first choice from the joujouthèque was, not surprisingly, a loud, somewhat obnoxious, ride-on toy. Besides play group and Wednesday morning Bible study, we've started going to a Mom & Tot yoga class at a studio relatively nearby. It's a nice half-hour walk straight from the bus stop, and I get more of a workout from the walk than I do from the class. M sort of participates, but it's only been two weeks so far. On the other days, we go to the park, read books at home, and do chores. It's really neat to watch her play by herself. She's started narrating her toys' actions, interspersed with disjointed bits of songs, just like D did at that age, and continues to do! "Hey teddy bear, whatcher doooing up there? Come down now. H-I-J-K-Q-R-S-T-U-V-DW all wet." And so on. This kid cracks me up, and I love spending time with her!

Attempting to start a trend of wearing sunglasses around one's midsection

The real first day of school

D's sort-of first day of kindergarten was last week, with a small sub-section of her classmates. I drove her and M was along for the ride, and the only tears that morning were from the baby sister who insisted, "Me, too! My turn!" as her big sister headed off down the hall without a backward glance.

Tomorrow, I'm sure a variation on that scene will replay as D takes the bus to school. But whereas, on Friday, M and I just ran errands all morning, we've got play group tomorrow and since D won't be there, M gets to choose what we get from the toy library, or "joujouthèque." I'm hoping this will stave off her jealousy somewhat.

A dollhouse with Little People is always a big hit

"You mean I get to choose?"

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a backpack to prepare and a season finale of The Amazing Race Canada to watch. Cheering on the Mitic brothers!

Settling into fall

While most families are celebrating the end of the first week of school, we're still waiting on the first day. D and I went to meet her teachers (one English, one French; they trade off each week) on Friday, and met a couple of her classmates as well. Next week she'll go in for half the day, and the week after that she starts on the bus. She seemed to enjoy seeing the classroom and playing with the toys, so I'm not too worried about her settling in.

In the meantime, I've got lots to keep me occupied at home! I'm very much looking forward to mornings with M, and I'm wondering if I might be brave enough to enrol her in gymnastics or swimming (keeping in mind that I will have to participate in any such activity!). I'm also co-teaching a class at the women's Bible study at church, so that's pretty prep-intensive. And finally, there's all the usual housework and crafting. We were the happy recipients of a hand-me-down bedroom set, and the desk was too big for D's room, so we set it up in the basement. It's the perfect size for a sewing work station, and there's even a power outlet in the right spot on the wall to accommodate both the sewing machine and my laptop! Handily enough, the iron and ironing board are already in the same room. Now when I haul out my sewing machine, I don't have to put it away. The desk has three drawers, so that's where my meager fabric collection goes, along with the few notions and patterns I've gathered. Who knows, maybe I'll go crazy and sew more than once a year?

Here's what I managed to make today during the girls' nap: the Little Man Bow-tie Onesie. It was that rare pattern that was easy and quick for a novice like me. I bought three plain white onesies, and used a scrap of fabric left over from a pillowcase dress.

This week's selection from the toy library (I have to photograph it immediately before the girls play with it, so that I can make sure to get all the pieces together before returning it!). It's been a big hit.

Who wouldn't love to spend the morning with this crazy broad? She's super.